Nervous Breakdown

I am not sure, but I think I may have officially lost my mind. Saturday I went to the salon and watched my hair turn from blond to chocolate brown. Some may be worried that I am in the witness protection program, but have no fear I have just had a breakdown. I can control the color of my hair if nothing else. Lex says I don't look like his mommy, Mason could care less, and Kiya loves me no matter what. Matt says he loves it, but he has learned not to say otherwise. I am still adjusting to the change, but then again change is all I know. We went to the park today and enjoyed the sunshine. Kiya has started saying DaDa! This makes my whole month. It is so great that she has the ability to progress with sounds and talking. Not to mention it may very well be the cutest thing I have ever seen to see her trying so hard to get the words out. I don't think it is intentional (Matt would disagree), but it is the next step that a child should make after the initial vowel sounds. We are increasing physical therapy and starting with outpatient therapy as well as Kids On the Move.

Lex is going to first grade soon and I have been trying to block the idea out of my mind. It is so strange to have him in another persons care for that long. I am really going to miss him. I will bring a box of tissues and a locket of his baby hair on his first day to comfort myself. I have signed Mason up for preschool, but I can already see it ending in disaster. I think he is going to have a fit when I try to leave him. He already does that with nursery and other places. The other day I went to a friends house where we left him a few times when Kiya was in the hospital. He immediately gummed onto me and would not let me put him down. I don't think Matt and I realize how much this trial has impacted his life. Matt and the boys are going to San Diego and I think it will be so good for Mason to have one on one time with his daddy again.